Is your life too comfortable? Then you need head lice! Lice can be obtained inexpensively, and we guarantee that once you have them, all that spare time and ...
I didn't expect my blood test to tell me I was a Viking warrior, but this year it did. Every year The Husband and I take a blood test together, then go to ...
Every night I look for Capella. The autumnal star flashes red and green on the horizon: a blip, a flutter, a furious blinking in opposing colors. She ...
The summer break that started in March is ending soon. People always say "I bet you sure are glad for school to start so you can have the house to yourself ...
To the future loved ones of my second son: He's only trying to help you. For instance, when that boy wonders "why is my knife on this side of my plate? Why ...
The twins can teach you how to ride a bike without training wheels. In September I would pick my four boys up from school and drive them to the Central ...
Restricted to 6-foot bubbles and desperate for fresh air, many citizens have taken their quarantines for a run. Running is a healthy and fun way to be alone, ...
The Husband is not OK. It's been two weeks since higher forces demanded "social distancing" to crush the bloom of novel coronavirus. A succession of orders ...
It's not possible to go overboard with winter house-cleaning. While other families tracked the Elf on a Shelf this Christmas, I explained the noxious ways of ...
Riverton, it's been a rough year. 2019 was bookended with the still-unsolved double homicide of Jocelyn Watt and Rudy Perez on its infant side, and the ...
I've been in love with you all along. It started 10 years ago, when I reached for a mug on the topmost cupboard. The usually effortless stretch that ...
"She's sweet and all, but she has some serious baby-brain" is a phrase often applied to moms who seem mentally scattered. Well, news flash, I absolutely, ...
There are two kinds of people on this earth: those who love and respect children, and those who make Rubik's cubes. You know that toy. It's a cube with six ...
It's time for me to come clean. Of all my shenanigans, even including that time I rode a pig across the highway, the most embarrassing one was the time I ...
Of all the things that provoke motherly introspection, few among them are so potent as the kindergarten registration form - and this week I filled out two of ...
A better newspaper moralizer would call that angry rap song worthless, but when it came on I was back in your hand-me-down shirt and shoes, bobbing my head ...
I've been a runner for 15 years, so I'm friends with pain. Runner's knee, plantar fasciitis, bursitis, chronic frostbite, intestinal scarring (yes you can ...
There's no charming way to say that I like to be alone. I once quipped to a friend that I'd be content living on a mountaintop, and then I - you know -- ...
I'll have you know I didn't lose my cat. I merely misplaced her. The day after Christmas I wrote a tale from the perspective of a stray cat who had been ...
I am a huntress, so there's nothing else to be. I was born under a shed during a cold, sopping spring season. My coat thickened up quickly and I opened my ...
Man's passion for renewal can be seen in many things - from the crude marble slab Michelangelo carved into "David," to the limestone masonry of the pyramid ...
People are so warm to ask about my life during conversation. While my version of camaraderie usually produces cold or awkward questions such as "what are you ...
The Husband was looking at houses for sale, but I wasn't so sure. We had lived in our house on Forest Drive for more than eight years, filled the place with ...
After eight years of dating, my brother Seth finally married his longtime girlfriend, Jess, last Saturday. Our four sons had never been to a wedding before, ...
I'm not going to say who did what - I ain't no snitch - but I will say that there was a "grounding" here last week. I had never grounded any children before; ...
I remember when I was a good cook. It seems like only yesterday. In the heyday of that era, I sat in a perfectly clean kitchen, while my one baby played ...
When are we too old to fall in love with Beowulf? Now, I'm not saying there's an age limit to falling in love, in general. The requirements for that are ...