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Twelve ways exercise is overrated
Feb 22, 2012 - The San Jose Mercury News
Health advocates are always impressing upon us the importance of walking -- or, in my case (st)rolling, but an Internet friend recently poo-pooed that with the following observations:
- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.
- My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the heck he is.
- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
- I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
- I joined a health club last year, and spent about 250 bucks. I haven't lost a pound. Apparently you actually have to go there.
- Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise," I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
- I do have flabby thighs, but my stomach covers them.
- The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, "She looks good doesn't she."
- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
- I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
- We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.