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Choose an aphorism for your life

Jun 6, 2012 By Carolyn B. Tyler

An Internet friend sent me some aphorisms this week that are worth sharing here:

- The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

- Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

- If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

- Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

- How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

- Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

- Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

- Scratch a cat behind the ears, and you will have a permanent job.

- No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

- There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. Like, it could be the right number.

- No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

- I've reached the age where "happy hour" is a nap.

- Be careful about reading the fine print, there's no way you're going to like it.

- The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

- Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the golden oldies!)

- Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

- Always be yourself, because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.

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