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Women, we have dropped the ball

Oct 12, 2017 by Betty Starks Case

Family? I think you know by now how deeply I believe in and understand the strength of family.

I mean strength for a lifetime, values to live by.

So what are today's guidelines? Who sets them? Who follows?

The recent massacre by a lone gunman at a Las Vegas outdoor country music event brings endless puzzling analysis as to "why?" I read them all, as confused as anyone searching for answers.

Then I read this view of an eastern columnist:

"I believe the shootings of random, happy people doing normal things are a symptom of the spiritual emptiness and loneliness that afflicts a subset of our people - a by-product of family dissolution and fraying communities. It won't be solved by any gun measure."

The article was authored by a Mona Charen, a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington D.C.

Ms. Charen offers a not-so-simple yet strangely available answer to our national confusion.

Let's consider her view.

A few years back we let ourselves be convinced that freedom from "one-partner sex" would open golden doors to endless fun and bliss. Surely, there'd by more joy in numbers, in variety.

Many joined the practice. The joy only seemed to last until the newness of the partner wore off. Or a disease came on.

A recent advice column shares a letter from a 20-year-old woman whose "boyfriend" (no need to grow up in today's world) insists he won't marry until he samples the product for at least a year. The young woman disagrees. But will she be fair to herself? To him? To potential children?

Wait a minute. Hasn't that often been the male approach to sex? All the female needed to do was yield her own sense of values?

My husband's and my 75-year marriage received a great deal of publicity a while back. Many people, especially the younger ones, seemed shocked yet awed at the longevity and our continued affection for one another. So we took another, more detailed look at it ourselves.

We discovered we don't feel deprived from any angle. We never did.

Some will say, "But society has changed."

Yes, we noticed. We stayed together and watched the change. We elected not to change. We did not see people becoming happier. We did not see children becoming happier or better prepared to deal with the world. Both adults and children seemed more troubled and confused.

We watched, as Mona Charen wrote, "the dissolution of families and fraying communities, the spiritual emptiness and loneliness" that caused people to feel like outcasts, to seek power and attention with firearms, murdering the people they feel betrayed them by being happy.

I have another approach. You may have seen it here before. Things could improve, "exponentially," as they say, if we female figures in men's lives acknowledged our own strengths and leadership qualities and held true to them.

I'm not so bold as to suggest the Bible might be mistaken. But our interpretation may be off a bit. It seems a common belief that Eve was the original female vixen that led noble Adam astray. Of course the snake of temptation is the culprit. But he's not the one in charge here.

So have you ever heard anyone suggest that perhaps God caused the apple to be handed to the one he believed to be the most dependable, lasting leader? The one who doesn't generally fight wars, who rarely shoots people, who grows the next generation in her own body, and protects it for nine long months, then launches new life in pain most men admit they couldn't bear.

Could this gender, the one that traditionally lives the longest in better health, set the pace to promote human survival? To keep this world the best place for our children and grandchildren to live?

It seems woman has dropped the ball. But if she understands what she's let herself be robbed of by those who'd deny we need guidelines, rules to live by, we can change things for the better.

Clearly, this world needs her wisdom, her awareness of her strengths in place of the often subservient role some would have her play to enhance their own ego. In reality, she was granted strength and intelligence from the beginning to carry the banner.

I don't expect all of you guys to agree with this. But we love you anyway. I hope you'll consider the potential with an open mind and lend your strengths to bring peace to this world.

We might all find more joy in such a life than in aiming deadly weapons and killing people who, under different circumstances, might be our friends. Maybe even family?

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2017-10-18